John A. Bihari, Ii

Uncle John’s Eulogy by Darla Carlisle

In 1961, a song was recorded about a big man, “Big Bad John”. Hitting the charts at number one and becoming an instant hit, not only in the United States, but across the world, Big Bad John is still heard on the radio today and nearly as popular as when it was recorded.

For as long as I can remember, that song has always been, for me, synonymous with another man…my Uncle John. He was the biggest man I had ever seen, and over the course of 60 years, I’ve seen very few that could compare to his size and stature, but more importantly, to his character.

In the song, Big Bad John, John was a big man over 6 feet tall, 245 pounds, and a quiet man. And although he got into a little trouble, in the end he became a hero.

Uncle John, too was a quiet man…until you got him talking. Then, he could talk your ear off. Some of his favorite conversations were those revolving around his work, tractors, and his hometown of Stonecreek. Like Big Bad John, Uncle John had a “Cajun Queen”. His Queen was actually more of a Hillybilly Queen than a Cajun Queen, but his love for her knew no boundaries. He would often stop on his way home from work to pick up chocolate for his love and on many occasions, would surprise her with special gifts. They began dating in high school and quickly became a love story made for movie (or music). He was a star on the basketball court, and she was the cheerleader cheering him on-a role that would play out for the remainder of their years together here on Earth. Marriage and family followed and a life was built with bonds and love that will continue to grow for generations to come.

In what seems a blink of an eye, their family grew from just the two of them to three children, six grandchildren, a great-grandchild on the way, a daughter-in-law, two sons-in-law, and grandson-in-law, and lots of dogs!

Jennifer was the first to come along and she became is “Poo”. A nickname his parents were not overly fond of, but his special name for his firstborn, non the less. He had special names for all his children. For his second child, Johnny, it was John Boy. Remembering Uncle John is easy-just pay a visit to his John Boy! Johnny looks like Uncle John, talks and sounds like Uncle John, and really, is the spitting image of Uncle John! Lastly, came his Dolly. Janna was the youngest, and some might say, she could do no wrong. She was the first child that he had the opportunity to see at birth, and that was a very special moment for him.

All three children lived a full and rewarding life with many fond memories of their dad. Decorating the outside Christmas Tree has left a lasting memory of what would begin as a fun activity and sometimes end with a few choice words that were not very Christmas-like. But, he made up for that by creating the tradition of reciting a poem that he would write for each Christmas gathering with his family. Whisker rubs, water fights, and being hauled around in the red wagon bring cherished memories that will last a lifetime, not only for his children, but also for his grandchildren.

Michael was the first grandson and he and grandpa would develop a special bond and become best buddies. Kyle and Cole came along next and all three grandsons have grown into young men with big hearts and caring personalities, just like their grandpa. Lexi, his princess, is the youngest and could make grandpa beam with pride. Cassie and Abbey came along a little later, but immediately became as special as the others, and their compassion and care in his later days was so appreciated. As was the case with his in-laws, as well.

Big John spent a lifetime providing for this family. He became a role model for his children and grandchildren by showing loyalty, dedication, and caring and compassion for not only his family, but also his co-workers and his community. He served as secretary for the union for many of his 46 years at Gradall, and also served for the Stonecreek Volunteer Fire Department. However, his greatest pleasure came from caring for his family. He did this in may ways- by installing a light near the mailbox and placing a hook for backpacks at the end of the driveway so the kids could have comfort and safety while waiting on the school bus, by working on their cars, building a bridge in the woods, carrying them to bed, and finding and fixing whatever they needed by way of the “Magic Barn”, Uncle John ensured that his family could live their best lives.

Together or apart, this family could be quite a handful. Uncle John, always strong, consistent, and maybe a little bullheaded, never cowered away from the drama, excitement, or jubilant celebrations. In fact, he embraced it! He was a champion of treating everyone fairly, had an ornery sense of humor, and a soft spot for animals. He was a Gentle Giant among the chaos of life.

A cutting board in their home may describe his family best, it reads “Some call it chaos, we call it family”! With all that chaos, it’s no wonder Uncle John was a quiet man! He was a watcher, and really enjoyed just sitting there and taking it all in, an act he would savor for all these wonderful years with his Hillybilly Queen and the family they created. And as he watched, he would witness his legacy unfold.

A legacy that any man would be proud of… and a man that every family would be proud of…a hero…a song that will never end. And so, I would say, at the end of this life …and the end of his song… lived one hell of a man…MY Uncle John…Big Bad John.